Helping a spouse with depression
This article was written specifically for a husband or wife who's spouse is suffering from depression. There is another separate article about how to help a pessimistic person, if it is more appropriate for you.
Depression can destroy marriages and families. If your spouse's depression is severe, it is very important that you convince them seek professional medical help. It can be overwhleming to attempt to treat it yourself. If it is a borderline or mild depression, sometimes called dysthymia, you can learn to create an environment for them that will help both of you.
Get depression out of your marriage
- Read some marriage counseling books on how to bring more happiness into your marriage.
- Avoid any television shows, especially morning talk shows, where the focus is on people in screwed up relationships.
- Dr. Laura has written a good book on marriage. The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage
- Don't tell your spouse that you are doing any of this just yet. They are likely to take offense to it or at least misunderstand your motives. When things have improved greatly, you can tell them all about it.
- Tell your spouse you would like both of you to start taking daily omega-3 oils, especially EPA, for their health benefits. You don't need to mention that it is beneficial for depression.
Get negativity out of your household
- Stop letting anyone watch television shows where the focus is on people with screwed up lives. Turn off the crap that you know is rotting the mind, like MTV.
- Every single day - Remind yourself to be thankful for all of the wonderful blessings you do have in your life like your wonderful children, loving family & friends.
- Your kids will respond to whatever you do. The happier you are, the happier your children will be. The best way to keep your children thinking positively is to set a good example.
- Read some uplifting or motivational books - ex: As a man thinketh, Tony Robbins books, Chicken soup for the ...........
- Start a family night once a week. Get everyone to sit home and watch a good family oriented movie together the same night every week.
- Commit to the habit of not complaining. Any time you catch yourself complaining about anything, no matter how warranted, just stop. Complaining gets you nowhere. Think about it. Don't reinforce or reward your spouse's complaining. Instead, try changing the topic to something else.
You might also want to read Help a friend with depression for some additional insight in helping a spouse with depression.